Tuesday, April 21, 2009

How Do You Fuck That Up? - Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Surely the impressive way in which Spike Jonze appears to be handling his upcoming adaptation of Where the Wild Things Are portends a positive trend in adapting the beloved childhood books of my generation. Right?
I'm far too cynical to believe what I just wrote, and a scratch and sniff card recently sent to me (in the meatspace mail) by my mom just heavily reinforced my misanthropic views. The card advertises an upcoming animated version of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, one of my favorite books as a tot. My dedication to it proved by both its ragged, coverless condition and my kindergarden penned spiritual sequel, The Day it Rained Bricks and Slime. Young Knarf was particularily enraptured by the brilliant, detailed illustrations which I can only describe as... um... having lots of cool lines that provide shading and depth. The scratch and sniff card portrays a pair of dead-eyed CG Incredibles rejects with big "Wow! Holy Shit!" looks on their stupid faces.

This is my punishment for thinking that CG was the bees-knees back in the Jurrasic Park days.
Also, they've added a stupid sounding explaination for why it is raining food, and a transparent attempt to placate me with their casting. Sorry guys, I've disliked plenty of movies with Bruce Campbell and Mr. T in them before. (Plus nearly everything Anna Faris has been in, despite her personal awesomeness.)

I know this is all a knee jerk reaction (as this sentence is being typed I have yet to even watch the trailer), but what is the point of adapting something with a distinct visual style if you are going to make it look like every other generic CG kiddie flick that Hollywood continually spews forth.

-watching trailer-

Zany, but I stand by my snap judgements. Also, why does everything have to be in 3D now? Is it to prevent piracy? (Pirates wear eyepatches, get it? Aaar.) Looks like they swiped the title, basic premise, and a few iconic images, then candy-coated the whole thing.

So, Sony Pictures, with brilliant source material and a style that would make for a transcendent 2D (hand drawn if possible) short film....
How do you fuck that up?

Oh right, it's because you are a creatively bankrupt mass of writhing evil that will gladly spray monkey feces all over my childhood in the hopes of making a quick profit.

Previously on "How do you fuck that up?": The Convent


  1. I try to never get excited about any movies anymore. Phantom Menace and Fellowship of the Ring were the last nails in my coffin. Now the only thing I get excited about at the movies is the big box of Raisinettes! :-D

  2. I didn't mind the LoTR movies, but yes, every trip to the local uber-plex these days just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

    Now you can see why I only write about movies from 1993.

  3. I am definitely not happy about the inclusion of an evil scientist. This was one of my favorite books as a kid, ferchrissake!

  4. I think he's more supposed to be an absent minded professor type than evil, but still...